Grandad Bill

I believe that God is all around us, if we only take the time to look.  Sometimes blessings are hidden in everyday life, but they are there nonetheless.

Last night my Grandad Bill was called to Heaven.  He was a humble, hardworking, stubborn man, who will be greatly missed.  He lived a simple life, dedicated to his family and his friends. Despite the fact that he lost his wife to cancer, a son to a brain tumor, and a tornado decimated his home and community, he carried on.  God is good.

In more recent years, a stroke left him wheelchair bound and forced him into assisted living.  He was often very tired and difficult to understand, but on our recent visit this summer, he was joyful.  His speech was clear enough for his great grandchildren to understand him, and he shared cookies with Shay, joked with Kale about "breaking out of the joint and chasing women," and left Bailey in awe as he ate a raw tomato like an apple. He and I even laughed about my tendency to drive his golf cart through mud puddles (and precariously close to trees) when I was a little girl.  God is good.

This past week Dain and I took our family back to Hutchinson for the fair.  It just so happened that on the drive there I got the call from Mom saying that Grandad wasn't well, and Hospice was being called in.  I will be forever grateful that because we were in town, I got to see him one last time, talk to him, hold his hand, and say goodbye.  God is good.

And finally, this weekend as he was taking his final breaths, my cousin and his wife welcomed a new baby girl into the world; the circle of life continued.  My Grandad raised three amazing children.  He was blessed with 8 grandchildren, and over a dozen great-grandchildren (plus 3 more on the way).  My Grandad Bill can rest peacefully with my Grandmother Hollis knowing that his legacy will carry on through those that loved him most.   God is good.

This & That...April

The little man turned 10.  Double digits!  A decade old!

I'm still in denial.

He also started baseball (12U)... and being on the shorter end of height spectrum compared to kids his own age.... Well, he's pretty cute. (But don't tell him I said that)

Bailey's been playing soccer, and we went to a Sporting KC Game.  

Being a football family, a game ending in a 1-1 tie was baffling.

But we had fun!

Easter was good, and I am proud of the fact that approximately once a year we manage to get cleaned up and look nice, and smile for a family photo that actually looks like we like each other.  

(We do!  We do love each other!)

I'm ready for May.

Finding Joy Amidst the Pain

About a decade ago I was a senior in college.  I was a girl with a checklist....a schedule for how my life was going to lay out.  I have always been a person who likes to know what's coming next; a planner by nature.  I dare say that I was self-centered enough to believe that I alone was in control.

As I was finishing up my coursework, contemplating the next steps in my career, and beginning a life with Dain, we found out I was pregnant.  Just like that,  our world got turned upside down.
Life is funny that way.

On April 4th, 2005 our sweet Kale Bug came into this world, and suddenly in all the uncertainty, I was certain of one thing: God's plan for my life,  for our life, is so much greater than our own.

It's a mantra that I, that WE have carried from that day on.

Today we said goodbye to the sweet baby that was growing inside me.  It was unexpected and painful, and yet through  the despair there were glimpses of joy:

My doctor and his staff were incredibly helpful, and made all the arrangements for getting me to see a specialist when I was simply too shocked to know up from down.

The staff at Menorah Medical were loving, compassionate and accommodating.

Our sweet children, who can, mostly certainly sense the pain more than we give them credit for, cried along with us, but also offered the optimistic perspective through a child's eyes: "God has lots of babies, mama.  Maybe he will send us another if we ask."

And of course, friends, family, and coworkers have lifted us up in prayer and support.

The pain is there, but rest assured, so is the joy in trusting in God's plan.  For now, we will count our blessings here on earth, and find comfort knowing that we have a new, tiny, guardian angel watching over our family.

Thank you for love, prayers, and support.
~Katie & Dain

Reflections

It seems that every year without fail, January sneaks up on me and catches me by surprise. I am inevitably taken off guard that not only have the holidays come to a screeching halt, months of endless cold await, and I swear I can feel a sense of uneasiness radiating through my bones.  Oh how I wish I was one of those eager souls who greet the new year with excitement and lists of ambitious resolutions! Rest assured that I have not lost my tease-worthy cheery disposition, but admittedly I approach the winter months with a sense of obligation: Must trudge through until spring!

All winter-grumpiness aside, I am nothing but grateful for the year I just had, and joyously looking forward to the coming months and the arrival of the new baby.  Much like the other three, Dain and I are thrilled beyond beyond belief, but even more so than in the past, feel a deep appreciation for the tiny being that is settled inside me, and the fact that it really is nothing short of a miracle that together we are capable of creating and nurturing another human.  How's that for profound? :)  In full disclosure, I spent the better part of December anxiously awaiting the sound of the baby's heart beat (something I never recall feeling in the past) and a wave of utter relief made my eyes brim with tears when the doctor finished his customary questions and held the fetal doppler to my stomach.  That glorious sound never gets old!

Looking back, I am especially thankful for my husband who cooked and cleaned and carried our family through weeks of exhaustion and nausea that left me feeling run over by a freight train for the better part of two months.  One of the hardest parts of pregnancy is the aches and pains of the first trimester, when nobody even knows you are expecting!  I feel like I owe my dear third graders a hug and reassurance that my energy and patience levels are recovering thanks to a much needed two-week winter break and transition into the second trimester with a baby on board.

I've been reading a new book by one of my favorite authors, Katrina Kenison, who writes on motherhood in such a way that I am certain at times she is speaking just to me.  Today I read:
"Meaning an purpose come not from accomplishing great things in the world, but simply from loving those who are right in front of you, doing all you can with what you have, in the time you have, in the place where you are."  With that, I will go faithfully into the coming months with a positive attitude and understanding that perhaps the bitter cold of winter makes the warmth of spring all the more enjoyable.  Much like my ever growing belly, I can't stop the passing of time, but I can find grace in being present in the moments as they come.